This one is more of a person post as I've lost too people close to me in the last four days. I've been heavily disassociating and I can recognise myself doing it. I wondered if any of you have any resources around grief or how to navigate this? Or any studies that are maybe related that can help me to manage my behaviours or process this loss in a healthier way?
I hope you're all well.
That's a beautiful answer by ViktorijaT, so I haven't much to add.
Try and remember that this grief is unique and that you are not on anyone else's timeline of when you should be recovering.
My wife lost her mum 2 years ago, and it seems like yesterday. She's only just beginning to reflect on the happy memories of her mum. So, there is no timeline or expected 'end of grief' date.
Keep your expectations modest and don't put too much pressure on yourself to function 100%. When you need to take time to grieve, take it and put your mental health at the very top of your to-do list.
Here's a resource that might help in recognising your grief and ways to adapt:
https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/grieving-your-way
Disassociation is a completely normal defense mechanism
This might help explain it more:
Also as ViktorijaT pointed out, feel free to talk to us.
I've messaged you via the app (Spaces with wix) with both my email and my wife's should you ever need to vent or talk. My wife has personally experienced a deep loss with her mum passing and so she might be good to talk to. But either way you have our emails.
Dan
Oh no, I'm sorry for your losses. I sincerely hope that you'll start doing better, just take your time right now and know that brighter days are ahead for sure!
First of all, I think it's going to be very helpful for you to be informed about all the symptoms of grief. This will prepare you to deal with certain things that might pop up. I've found a great resource that you can check out-- https://www.mentalhelp.net/grief-and-bereavement/symptoms-of-grief/
During this time you'll benefit a lot from checking in with yourself more often. One way you can do this is by journaling your thoughts and feelings. You should write whatever comes to mind without any limitations which will open up the doors to understanding your subconscious beliefs and needs. This will be the ultimate way to get to know yourself and fully recover.
The next thing I thought about is our perspective on loss. Loss is a heavy thing to deal with, but we can make it just a bit easier by controlling our story around what it means to us. In my personal experience what has comforted me the most is knowing that my loved ones are still with me even though it's not in the physical form. I know there's no scientific proof for this, but if it's not harming anyone and if it's easing the pain a bit then why not try it out.
We tend to live on auto-pilot most of the time, but perhaps we can use loss as a fuel to practice living in the moment and spending more time with our loved ones. By developing this mentality, loss teaches us to cherish the present which will lead to much more happiness in the long run.
Lastly, I also have this article about grief that has an explanation about the types of grief and how to cope with it. I found it very helpful when I was going through some difficult times so I hope it can help you too.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
Again, take your time and practice being more loving to yourself through this process. You can also find a group of people that you can lean on and feel free to reach out to us again when you need to. I wish you all the best!